How To Deal With The Divorced And Remarried

• 
• 

Details

Category: Marriage, Divorce, And Remarriage

Published on Monday, 27 April 2009 22:33

Written by Ryan Hicks

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE DIVORCED AND REMARRIED

By Ryan Hicks

Luke 16:15-18
15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
16 The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it.
17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail.
18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Divorce and remarriage is a common practice in modern times. Remarriage after divorce and marrying a divorcee are things highly esteemed among men. Unfortunately this is not a practice only among those that do not profess faith in Christ. There are just as many, if not more, people that profess to be born again that practice this sin. The purpose of this writing is to help the children of God deal with people who are living in this sin.

In the verses given above Jesus says that a person that divorces and remarries committeth adultery and if a person marries a divorcee they committeth adultery. "Committeth" is present-progressive tense, which means that it is a continuous action. That is to say, the act of remarriage after divorce or marrying a divorcee puts one in a continual state of adultery, and as such they have no part in the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). The only way to be free from such adultery is to confess and forsake that sin (Proverbs 28:13). Mere confession of sin has never been enough to get forgiveness, God has always required for people confessing sins to forsake the sins.

With all of this in mind, how do you, as a child of God deal with people that are in this sin of adultery? You need to be mindful to be loving but honest toward them. 

1 Thessalonians 4:12
12 That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

Colossians 4:5
5 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.

Only God knows the person and He can give you wisdom on how to deal with them. It may be harder if you are talking with someone that claims to be a Christian because so many of them have been given excuses for their pet sin. A new convert may more readily accept the truth because they have not spent years covering up for and excusing their sins. It may be hard, but you need to recognize some people will not leave the lusts of the flesh for Christ. They may want religion, but they do not want to deny self and take up their cross while following Christ.

2 John 1:9-11
9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:
11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.

Whatever you do you need to be very careful about any interactions and time spent with such people. God does want you to walk in love toward all the unsaved and the saved, but you need to be careful how close you get with people that profess Christ but deny Him in their actions.

Rules for dealing with people in such sin:

1. They need to be understood to be unsaved and in need of the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. To treat them as if they are saved or have the grace of God in their lives is to deny the blatant sin they practice against God.
   
2. They need to be treated with love, but they need to understand the Scriptural teaching on their sin. You are not loving the person if you refuse to inform them of their sinful lifestyle. This is to be done out of true love and concern for their souls.
3. You must never attend a remarriage or the marriage of a divorcee to another person. You are condoning their evil and destroying your witness if you do such wickedness.
4. You should never invite a divorced and remarried couple to functions you are having. This would be interpreted as validation of their adulterous relationship. 
5. You should treat the children involved in such sinful relationships with the love of God. They can be won to faith in Christ in spite of the evil example given by their parent(s).
6. If a divorced and remarried person is in need you are to help them. Their sin should not stop you from walking in love toward your fellow man.
7. You should never provide lodging for the divorced and remarried unless it is due to an immediate need. You do not want to be seen as approving of their wickedness.
8. If you do provide lodging in cases of urgent need the couple must be lodged separately. If they will not agree to this, then you are under no additional obligation. You are not obligated to promote sin under your roof.
9. You must be careful to not encourage talk about the other party in the adulterous relationship, lest it be interpreted as a valid relationship equal to that of the truly married.
10. If you must speak of the other party in the adulterous relationship they should never be referred to as "wife" or "husband," since they are not. You can refer to them under their proper name, but not the titles of those in a true marriage.

You must be careful. Your desire should be to love them, but if you are not careful and on guard for the faith you can get into compromise and wind up condoning sin. The eternal destinies of these people are locked on hell and you need to try your best to lovingly guide them out of hell and into the saving light of Jesus Christ. Many times these people have no man or woman of God to warn them of their sin. They have pastors that know better, but the pastors choose to condone the sin so they can keep the churches full. You may be one of the few people available to witness the truth to these lost souls. Do not be discouraged when many reject the idea and just want their sin. Just be truthful and loving. You cannot make someone repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Consider this, in Noah's day there were approximately 2 billion people on earth and only 8 of them were saved from God's wrath (2 Peter 2:5). The Scripture puts us on notice, "And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?" (1 Peter 4:18).

 

 

• < Prev
• Next >